Sometimes things happen and you have no control. It feels like someone grabbed the side of your being and gave it a push, launching you sideways, spinning at angles, unable to slow down or stop until some outside force grabs you, slows you down, pulls you aside and holds you while things stop spinning in your eyes and you can finally get on your feet, even if you need a little support at first. But my supports are gone. I don't know how or why they all left when they did, but I need them back. All of them. I'm spinning way too fast to stop myself, and no one I would usually call on to stop me is around to help. It's not their fault. I probablly pushed away a few myself. I know I did. Others just have other things they have to take care of. A particularly important one I'm pretty sure just got tired of my bullshit, and I don't blame her at all. But who's going to help me stop spinning? And who am I going to go to inbetween classes when I just need a hug? A real hug, a "we've been friends forever and I don't even need to know why you need a hug because I just understand regardless" hug. And who am I going to go to when I can't bare the thought of coming home to my house... Or when I finally decide to talk about the thing that I've told no one? Spinning sucks But I'm afraid to try to stop. By myself. Won't you help me? This is a plead, a begging, a calling. I...need someone. But I come with a warning: I'm a bad friend. I get too wrapped up in my own spinning to pay attention. I don't wipe the tears from my eyes long enough to see that someone else probablly is having difficulties too. My sorry's are pathetic because I have no way to prove them. I'm a bad friend, but I love you. I'm sorry. Please stop me. | 
